Hope your Valentine’s Day was as awesome as mine. Ame got me some workout clothes and cooked an awesome dinner. I got a little sloshed and we watched Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I got Ame some Hello Kitty stuff, chocolate, and, of course, roses. Oh, I also got Ame these hilariously awesome cards:

Brandon Bird's Law & Order: Special Valentine Unit

I’m sure you may remember me mentioning Brandon Bird at least once before. I saw these on his site a long time ago, and also pretty recently, and I had to get them for Ame. She’s a Law & Order: Special Victims Unit fan so these were a big hit!

At work today, pizza was provided in the break room as the first day of Employee Appreciation Week. It was Cici’s, so it was terrible of course, but I still helped myself to a couple slices. Come on, free pizza! Why wouldn’t I pass it up?

It got me thinking though. The slices were ridiculously small, something like 20 slices to a large pie. I know Pizza Hut will allow you give special instructions for how to slice the pizza. The example they give is “cut into squares.” That’s a pretty neat service if you ask me. Why not ask for something obnoxious though? The reasons are obvious, like not wanting extra off-menu toppings (gross) on your pizza, but how about a pizza cut into 7 slices?

Anything 5 slices and under require only a little thought. Everyone knows how a 5 point division works. 6 is an easy concept, the cuts go all the way through, the difficulty is simply in getting the slices all the same size; but from my experience in receiving pizzas for delivery, this mustn’t be a hard and fast requirement either – even on the standard 8 slice pie…

7 though. That’s tricky. It’s seven cuts, all halfway through. And on large surfaces, the middle is hard to find unless you mark it. And what are you gonna mark it with? A topping? Maybe not, overshooting the middle is acceptable for difficult cuts though so I’ll let that slide. You might get lucky and get an engineering major who’s putting himself through college on this one and end up with a perfect result.

And on the maximum side, anything over 10 is ridiculous. Even on extra-large pizzas, the slices get too small after 12. You might be able to do an 11-slice pizza on that size of pizza, but with the same technical difficulties as a 7 or even a 9.

How about cutting it into pieces that aren’t slices at all? A spiral cut that’s still one piece, or a pentagon or pentagram? That could be fun…

“Avoid the noid”