Saturday morning was horrible, horrible, horrible.

It all started at 4:30 a.m. when Ame dropped by to say hello to me while I slept. This wasn’t odd at all though as she likes to stay up late and play video games sometimes. The little tickle in my throat from the night before had blossomed quite a bit so I was feeling a little bad. Ame went to get me some water and cold & flu remedy, and, on her trip out to the kitchen for the glass of water, she discovered her computer was unexpectedly off and wouldn’t turn on again. Enter: Steve, the home sysadmin.

After doing the simple stuff, like checking the power cables and discharging the capacitors with no resolution, it was time to open it up. Oh, lovely, the only point of failure I’ve ever experienced on that particular board had failed again - I call it the northbridge fan, but who knows what it’s called. The problem was, there’s evidence this was not a new issue. I called it as a red herring at the moment and looked for something else, but I couldn’t find it so I shelved it and resolved to look at it later after more rest.

By then the dog was going nuts because we were both up and that’s the signal to go outside and potty. Remember, I’m still under the weather at this point, and for extra bonus points also hungover – we had Bobby over for dinner the night before and I had “some” wine. Ame was understandably upset her computer was toast, so after taking care of Snickers’ urinary needs, she wanted to toast up some Eggo waffles to chill out.

She popped in a couple frozen waffles into the toaster, and placed the remaining waffles back in the freezer. The act of closing the door caused a bottle of hazelnut booze to fall and smash on the floor. We were both in the kitchen, and one of the great things about owning a small dog, is they are your ever-vigilant shadow. The bottle smashed right next to him, simultaneously scaring the shit out of him and soaking him in hazelnut flavored alcohol.

He jets off, we’re all freaking out, I checked him for wounds, ask if Ame’s okay – thankfully they both are. It’s time for an emergency dog bath and a cleanup in aisle one. We wrestled the dog into the tub and I started cleaning up the mess – not without some difficulty though: I cut my hand on some broken glass, and had neglected to put a mop pad on the swiffer so that wasn’t so effective until Ame corrected me.

It’s 6 a.m. at this point and guess what? The animals were hungry! I was pretty rocked at this point, but this went off without any problem, and after taking Snickers down and up again with no incident – he even pooped as per his bowel schedule, all great. Ame, The Unlucky Beast, was ready to try again with waffles upon my return. We’re nervous that something else was going to happen. Things went fine, she had her waffles and we went to sleep.

That’s the account of the whirlwind of that accursed Saturday morning. Ugh.

I took the day off this last Saturday, and Ame and I went to the “local” renaissance fair, Scarborough Fair. I try to make it out every year and I’ve brought Ame along the last three years now. The shows are getting a bit stale unfortunately, but I’m not sure that’s not because I’m getting older and the place really is for kids when you think about it, even as bawdy as it is.

This year I got Ame some neat clothes to go with some other clothes she got herself; My renaissance fashion (”Scarb Garb”) vocabulary is seriously lacking so we’ll just stick with the word ‘clothes.’ Ame got me a wooden katana to go with my wooden longsword I already have from previous trip. My old roommate, Matt, says they’re not real, but say they’re wooden.

Whenever I go somewhere there are tons of people, I’m bound to run into someone I know and this trip was no exception. We instantly recognized eachother and he even called me by name, but, and it’s honestly been bugging me ever since, I can’t remember his! All I could blurt out was something like, “hey it’s you, I know you too!” So, whoever you were, I’m sorry I couldn’t and still can’t remember your name. Don… Phil… ?

As with any trip through South Dallas on Interstate 35, you pass the Dallas Zoo. I’ve not actually been to the zoo itself, hearing that it’s not all that great – also it’s in South Dallas. But out front, there is a very prominent giraffe statue marking its entrance. I had passed it as simply a landmark a few times on my trips to and from college and my parent’s place in the Austin area without thinking much of it.

On a group trip to the renaissance fair several years ago, Allison pointed out the chest vagina and now I can never un-see it. I bust out laughing everytime and heartily announce and point to it like a perverse tour guide to whomever I’m with.

Chest Vagina! This zoom-in is horrible. Click the picture for a bigger version and you'll see what I'm talking about

After our outing we invited some friends over for Dungeons & Dragons, but that’s another post.

Thought I’d move to a place where my credit could stink and nobody would care
I just wish that somebody had told me that place was a Renaissance Fair!