God, I hated that phrase growing up. Of course, now I realize they very likely didn’t know in the first place, they were just being assholes. This recollection was sparked by Comcast recently disclosing their network policies. With many ISPs, there are rules for how to use their services. If you break those rules, then you are at risk for disconnection. That’s simple, right? But you’re not allowed to ask what the rules are! How can you possibly play by the rules if you don’t know them? On the one hand, I understand the ISPs don’t want to disclose that information because they don’t want their users to step right up to the line that the Terms of Service outlines. If every user did that, their networks would crumble. Like airlines, they oversold their network. But on the other hand, I (we/you/your neighbor) paid for services and should know what is paid for and use it how can be used.

Away from ISPs, the worst case I can remember of non-disclosure of rules was a card game. A group of us, I think at Kyle Naziaxier’s place, wanted to play some cards. We couldn’t agree on a game to play, and the asshole of the group was pushing for poker. We didn’t have any chips or anything to bet with, so it was a stupid idea to begin with. We still couldn’t agree, so the asshole said, “Alright, let’s play ****** (I don’t remember the name of the game).”  Frustrated, we gave in; it was an idea no one had suggested yet, and I’d never heard of it. “How do you play?” I asked. “You’ll figure it out,” he replied and started dealing.

After some inexplicble game-events, never in my favor of course, I started getting mad. But I realized, don’t get mad, get even! This game didn’t have any rules. All of them were made up on the spot, that was the only rule. It was like Calvinball. When my turn came around, I made a play that made no sense to make in my favor – not too much though, just enough for a little bump and I certainly wasn’t in the lead. They all looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears. Enter asshole: “That’s… not in the rules,” took the card I played and gave it back to me. I was done with this nonsense, “Fuck this, you’re a prick. How am I supposed to play the game if you won’t tell me the rules? I’m out,” threw my cards down and stormed off.

Recalling this though, I realize soemthing even more unsettling. There really were no rules to the card game, but the objective was not to “win.” The objective was to make me mad enough to leave the table so they could play poker.

Assholes.